Back to December
by sasuke's not meant to be wife
Summary: How do you fix something that you willingly broken? And what if it turns out you did it by mistake? Just what happened in December and how will a birthday party change things? Rated M! yaoi!SasuNaru.


**Hi o/**

 **I've been playing league of legends and I was listening to some random old playlist and this song popped up. So, I thought... why not? :D The song inspired me to write this one-shot, I hope you guys will like it :)**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, nor the song that inspired me.**

 **Warnings: Ugh... ^^' boyxboy, lemon? *pouts* yeah, definitely a lemon, Naruto being *looks to the side* idiot... *nods* so, M rated and if you're not a fan of yaoi or Naruto and Sasuke don't read it! Oh, and if you are a huuuuge Sakura's fan, then I don't know what to say. **

**Enjoy! :)**

* * *

.

 **Back to December**

.

 _I'm so glad you made time to see me  
How's life, tell me how's your family?  
I haven't seen them in a while  
You've been good, busier than ever  
We small talk, work and the weather  
Your guard is up and I know why _

_Because the last time you saw me  
Is still burned in the back of your mind  
You gave me roses and I left them there to die_

* * *

"Naruto, I swear if you don't hurry up, I'll barge in and drag you out if I have to." Damn, Ino was impatient girl. Meet my best friend, Yamanaka Ino. She's twenty three, tall ,hot blond with body to kill for and eyes to die for. Judging by the voice she used just now, I believe her eyes promised painful death to me.

"I'll be there in a minute, damn it." I can't help it, I'm always slow when it comes to preparations, especially when it's something important.

"You said that fifteen minutes ago! That's it, you have ten seconds or I'm dragging you out I don't care whether you're ready or not."

I mentally rolled my eyes and opened the bathroom door. She was standing there tapping one foot on the ground looking at her polished nails, when she noticed the door open she directed a cold glare to me. Ino had strapless white dress that went to her thighs and hugged her body perfectly, exposing just enough skin to make her look sexy but not slutty and her heels were of the same color. She looked breathtaking, simple yet downright sexy.

"Let's go." She seeped through her teeth looking clearly angry. Couldn't blame her, I'd be pissed off if I had to wait for a guy best friend for an hour to get ready for a simple birthday party.

Except it wasn't that simple. I tried to avoid going, but I couldn't really bail on Neji like that, we were friends since first grade of high school and he never stood me up for any of my parties, or anything I suggested for that matter. The reason why I wasn't all that pleased with this idea was because _his_ best friend will most likely be there and I haven't seen him in months, four months to be precise, since _that_ day.

"Do I really have to go? I know! I'll get you tickets for that show you're dying to see if you excuse my presence tonight, how about that?" I put on my best grin and wiggled my eyebrows at my furious best friend before she smacked me upside the head, glare still in place. Damn she was good at glaring, almost as good as…

Nevermind.

"Are you finally ready?"

No? Of course I wasn't, but she'd just keep hitting me if I said that and eventually she'd drag me to the party anyway bruised and in pain.

"Aye!" I tried to sound ok with the idea, but she knew I wasn't really and there was no point in hiding it. Ino and I have been friends since childhood, we grew up together since she was my neighbor and we attended same schools and were in the same class all those years, there was literally not a single thing I could keep hidden from her simply because she knew me too well.

So when she asked me if I was ok and I said weekly 'sure' she knew I was lying and smacked my head yet again for lying to her face.

"You know, he might not be there… You should just relax a bit. It's been months since you went partying and had fun. Just enjoy tonight. Besides I know Neji has a lot of hot friends, maybe some of them will catch your attention." She winked my way and I rolled my eyes at her last sentence.

"Not interested." I replied dully and let her drag me out to her car. She insisted on driving there and I had no objection; since she was going to drive I could get wasted, at least one good thing could happen. Sighing I entered her car and she turned her radio on as she pumped the engine to life.

 _So this is me swallowing my pride_ _  
_ _Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night_ _  
_ _And I go back to December all the time_ _  
_ _It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you_ _  
_ _Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine_ _  
_ _I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right_ _  
_ _I go back to December all the time_

I froze hearing the song on the radio. It was mocking me, straight into my face which struggled hard to fight back tears that threatened to show. I rarely cried, and when that occurred I would always be alone, locked up in my room so nobody could see my tears. But this… Lyrics were painful. They stabbed straight through my heart leaving it in pain.

"You okay there Naruto?" Ino asked quietly, probably sensing the change of my mood. I nodded once keeping my eyes on the rout, last thing I needed was for her to see how upset I was. Ino was a true friend, she was brash and harsh at times, but she was compassionate especially when it comes to me. It's as if she could feel my sadness and make it her own, and I didn't want that to happen, especially not tonight when she was in a good mood for the party.

I clutched my heart through the red button up shirt I was wearing. I liked colors and red was one of the best in my opinion, right after orange that is, but I wanted to avoid comments on my obsession of orange things for the night, and I went for the red one instead, matching it with white jeans that weren't too tight, but not too lose either. They made my butt look good as Ino put it, so she made me wear them.

The car ride was silent, except for the songs that played on the radio, I knew Ino wanted to talk about it, but I wasn't in the mood at the moment and I pretended to sing along with lyrics in order for her not to question me.

* * *

" _Hey…" His voice was weak but I didn't mind it._

" _He's gone…" My voice barely above whisper. Sadness crept into me, the feeling of loneliness when you lose the person you loved the most in this world was too much for me to handle._

" _Naruto. He may not be physically present, but he's here." He touched my heart gently with his palm. His fingers burning my skin._

" _I'm… alone now." I said looking into the dark gaze that met my own as I caught his hand that loomed above my heart._

" _Idiot. How can you say that? You have Ino, you have friends, people that love you… You have me." He couldn't even go one day without an insult even if it was the day my grandfather Jiraiya left this world._

" _None of you can replace him, he was my only family. He taught me everything I know!" I screamed at the man in front of me letting all of my anger and sadness wrap in my voice as if it would go away if I just screamed at the top of my lungs._

" _Naruto." He boldly stepped closer to me cupping my chin in one hand to raise my head. I loathed the fact he was a bit taller than me._

" _I hate him. I hate him so much Sasuke." My eyes went wide at the statement as I felt even bigger pain hitting me at the words I didn't mean to say. How could I hate Jiraiya? The only thing I hated was the fact that he died leaving me alone in this world._

" _You don't hate him, dobe." Sasuke put his other hand around my waist and I shook my head._

" _I… don't. I love him. And… I miss him." I didn't want to cry. Well, I did. But I didn't want to cry in front of Sasuke. I guess my eyes, heart and head disagreed with me since I felt myself choking on a sob and looking for comfort in Sasuke's embrace._

" _I know."_

 _His hold on me was firm, he kept me close to him allowing my face to hide in his neck and I let the tears freely fall. It was the first time I cried in front of someone. It was the first time I let Sasuke see me weak and vulnerable._

* * *

I blinked at the memory that played so vividly in my mind and I felt my throat going dry.

Sasuke…

I heard Ino's phone beeping and saw her tense for a moment when she read whatever it was on the screen clutching her wheel tighter.

"We're almost there." She announced looking much less excited than 1 minute ago. I assumed it was because of something the text message said, but I had no willpower to intrude on her privacy at the moment.

"Naruto." I didn't like the tone of her voice, it was carrying a warning in it, but not the type of scolding warning as mother would give to her children when they disobeyed her. No… This was more of a worried warning.

"Huh?" I tried not to sound intimidated or curious.

"No matter what, try to enjoy the evening as much as you can." She said looking straight ahead on the road. She couldn't see me taking a peek at her cell for a short second and looking at the dying light at the screen.

A gasp escaped my throat as I silently read words written on it.

 _ **he's here**_

I didn't see who sent the text, nor I cared at the moment. Knowing well enough what the text meant and who it was referring to. I glanced at rear view mirror out of habit and braced myself for whatever was expecting me at the birthday party in the club owned by Neji's family.

It wasn't long before I noticed we stopped and I clutched the lock of passenger's side door. He was here. Sasuke Uchiha attended this birthday party. My head felt dizzy, I hadn't seen him in a while. Would he still talk to me?

"Come on, let's go!" Ino said putting on her best smile. It would've worked if I hadn't seen the text though, she was convincing just like that, but I knew what was coming and I felt awful.

The club was big enough to fit more than hundred people. Lights were dim providing the mystic atmosphere and the song blasting from the speakers was techno. Neji was sitting in one of the bigger private rooms so Ino and I approached him the moment we spotted him.

"Glad you finally came. What the hell took you so long?" Neji sounded tipsy and it made a small smile graze my face for a short second.

"Happy birthday Neji!" Ino and I loudly congratulated our friend and found us place to sit. She took a sit next to her boyfriend, Shikamaru. They've been together for four years now but we've known each other since childhood. They were friends before they became a couple. It took Shikamaru years to ask Ino out. He was _that_ lazy.

I found a free spot not far from Neji, the spot to my left was empty and on my right was Hinata embraced by her husband Kiba. They married right after high school and they loved each other greatly. I took a mental note of everyone else sitting at the table. Gaara was here, he had a thing with Neji but they never announced their relationship so I wasn't sure what became of it. Judging by the small looks Gaara was casting Neji's way I'd say they were still at it and it made me kind of happy.

Lee and Tenten were engaged in some conversation I didn't even want to be a part of. Lee was a true friend, someone who you could trust with your heart and soul but there was just too much youthfulness in every word he'd say that it made me instantly sick in the condition I was in.

It's been an hour since Ino and I arrived and the atmosphere was heating up. I was tipsy, not drunk, but I had to have a proper amount of alcohol within me to withstand the meeting with Sasuke. Speaking of devil, I still haven't seen him and I wondered if the message really was about him at all.

 _These days I haven't been sleeping  
Staying up playing back myself leaving  
When your birthday passed and I didn't call  
And I think about summer, all the beautiful times  
I watched you laughing from the passenger side  
And realized I'd loved you in the fall  
And then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind  
You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye_

 _So this is me swallowing my pride  
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night  
And I go back to December all the time  
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you  
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine  
I'd go back to December turn around and change my own mind  
I go back to December all the time_

Have you ever eaten your words? Because I just have. Tall, handsome figure approached our table holding hands with a girl I couldn't recognize at first and I blame that on the alcohol. What I did recognize however was a man who took a seat right beside me sipping from the glass that was left on the table for the past hour which I didn't pay attention to.

"Done with dancing for the night?" Neji's eyebrow went up as he smirked at his best friend who in return glared at him and remained silent.

"Noooo, please Sasuke! You can't be done, I still want to dance!"

Cringe.

Damn, how could I miss that? I managed to hold my fist hidden under the table so nobody would notice how tense I got hearing that voice.

"Hello, _Sakura._ " I greeted her politely not even looking at her. Here she was rubbing it in my face how happy she was dancing with Sasuke. Bitch.

"Hn. You begged for one dance which Neji ordered me to accept because it is his birthday party after all. Then you made me stay on the dance floor for more than an hour, excuse me, but I think I'm done with dancing for the next decade."

And there it was. That smooth, silky voice that made my heart throb and my cock harden at the sound of it. I assume he noticed me but chose to ignore me even though I was sitting next to him and it was painfully hard to ignore the rubbing of our shoulders from the proximity we were in. I knew it was my fault.

* * *

 _It was snowing today and I loved it! Snow was pure, it reminded me of happiness and so I stretched like a cat and rushed in the bathroom for a quick shower._

 _Sasuke and I were friends since high school, we bickered and fought most of the time. Maybe saying that would be understatement since I don't remember a week passed without us getting into detention. So we fought a lot, I guess. Anyway, we were in the same class and we had same friends so we kind of spent most of the time together and therefor became friends._

 _I didn't envy Sasuke, but there was something about him that made me feel different than around most of the people. That feeling was what usually got us into a fight since I had extremely short temper around him. So, when we announced to our friends that we're going to the same college they watched us as we've grown three more heads each. Then Sasuke went and asked me if he could move in with me since my home was really close to college, about 10 minutes walking distance and it made me want to jump out of the window. Which I would do if Sasuke hadn't stopped me saying I'm overreacting and being a dobe._

 _Sasuke helped me a lot with my studying, he was very smart and somehow whatever he explained to me I would understand it better than hearing it from my professor. Maybe it was the fact we spent a lot of time together in the house, maybe it was the remains of alcohol in our blood from the night before, but one night after we finished our third year of studies him and I ended up in my room, in my bed, naked._

 _Up till that day I thought Sasuke was asexual. He never paid attention to anyone man or woman, he was a stoic bastard who'd rather make a person cry than accept the invitation for a date. Also, up till that night I thought I was straight. Guess I was wrong. The weird thing was that there hasn't been a person that ever attracted me like Sasuke had then. And so while I was slamming my hips into my friend, my erection begging for release inside of him and him making the sexiest sounds I've ever heard, I realized he was special to me._

 _That's how our relationship started._

 _So today was December 15_ _th_ _, we were in the fourth year of college and it has been a few months since me and Sasuke officially started dating. Nothing changed between us except we shared kisses and had sex frequently which meant every time Sasuke's ass wasn't sore._

 _When I finished my shower and got dressed I expected Sasuke to come back home carrying our breakfast but he hadn't returned yet from god knows where. So I waited as patiently as I could, meaning I wasn't patient at all since I was starving._

" _Dobe!"_

 _I heard the well known nickname and I breathed the sigh of relief, he finally came back._

" _What took you so long teme?" I asked taking the bag out of his hands and looking through its content._

" _I received a phone call. I had been offered to finish my studies in Japan." His face was pretty much expressionless as ever but I noted slight excitement in his voice. I knew he was dying to go._

" _What?" It was all I could say. Because really, what do you say when you find out your best friend who became your boyfriend and made you realize you're only gay for him and he was actually the only person you can imagine yourself with was leaving your country?_

" _I said th-"_

" _I heard you… When do you leave?" The pain I was feeling at the moment was equal to the one when my grandfather died, perhaps… No, it was definitely stronger now. It hurt much more than I thought possible to hear that Sasuke was leaving. He did nothing wrong, really. He was the best student in his class. He deserved to go to Japan and I knew how much he wanted that. I never admitted to him how much it disturbed me, how lonely it made me feel, how_ _ **alone**_ _he made me be when he uttered those words._

" _I don't know if I'll le-"_

 _It was then when Sasuke got closer to me to cup my face and kiss me softly that I pushed him away and gave him the coldest glare I've ever mustered._

" _What the fuck is wrong with you dobe?"_

 _I didn't know what was wrong with me, I couldn't explain to him in what terrible pain I was when he said those simple happy words to me. It hurt to breathe. I was alone again, just like when Jiraiya died. Now Sasuke was leaving for Japan and… he was leaving me… here… alone._

 _I was looking, no, glaring at Sasuke, he had a look of confusion on his face along with a hint of irritation for not letting him finish what he started saying. It was in that moment that I ruined my life, permanently._

" _You and I, we're wrong." I couldn't stop myself from saying next few words, even though I wanted to, I haven't meant a single word I said then. I looked him in the eyes and willingly broke his heart while I sprouted lie after lie._

" _Dobe?"_

" _Don't ever call me that again! Next time I hear you say those words you'll be swallowing your own teeth. We can't be together, we never should have in the first place. I saw you with Sakura the other day, you two seemed close. Maybe she's better choice than me anyway. Have a nice trip." Yeah right, as if Sakura ever meant anything to Sasuke. I wanted to smack myself for saying something stupid, but I was hurt and I didn't care._

 _I was literally going crazy. My heart was screaming at me to tell Sasuke how sorry I am and that I didn't mean it. I was fighting hard to catch my breath, one part of my heart wanted to beg Sasuke to_ _ **stay**_ _and the other part of it wanted to beg for forgiveness._

 _But I didn't listen to it. I exited the room leaving Sasuke with the last words I remember saying to him._

" _It's over. Pack your stuff and leave."_

 _I hadn't realized that my heart was going to bleed for the black haired bastard months after that._

* * *

I'm not sure how long I was staring at Sasuke but I think it was way more than necessary because I heard Ino's warning tone in the way she said my name. How could I not stare? I mean, do you even know how this asshole looks?

Sex on legs.

Yeah, that's the definition of Uchiha Sasuke. He had black button up shirt which wasn't buttoned all the way to the neck, leaving a part of his silky pale chest exposed for everyone's eyes. He wore tight jeans, much tighter than I was wearing, also black. It was Sasuke's color after all, and I don't remember seeing anyone looking better wearing black as he did. His scent was intoxicating me. He was a mixture of vanilla and coconut, and his hair stylized in that unnatural duck-butt look only he could pull off without looking weird or stupid. It was the natural way his hair was falling though, he couldn't help it and I knew that since I've tried to dishevel it plenty of times.

I knew I blushed then but damn it, having him turn around like that and giving me that look with those onyx eyes… I just swallowed a lump in my throat and continued staring at him. It seems that the rest of the people around the table found our staring contest much more interesting than their previous conversation since they all silently watched the two of us when our eyes met for the first time after four months. Oh, and I have to exclude Shikamaru, he was napping as usually so he didn't seem interested in what was happing at the moment.

"I…" I wanted to tell him how idiotic I was to leave him like that, how stupid I was to hurt us both. I wanted to say that I'm sorry. But I didn't. I couldn't. So I just closed my mouth and looked at him. It hurt. I believe he could see how distressed I was since drunk Naruto was pretty much an open book.

"Naruto." My name... The voice I haven't heard for months has just said my name and it made goosebumps appear on my skin. It sounded… needy? Could it be that Sasuke still wanted me?

"How was your trip?" I inquired quickly, not letting the situation and alcohol get to me.

"Hn."

"You know, for someone who left me for four fucking months you sure seem eloquent." I rolled my eyes at my own sarcasm when I saw a raised eyebrow, no wait, there were four people with raised eyebrows counting Sasuke, Neji, Gaara and Sakura, the rest of them would probably do the same but didn't know how to.

"You were the one who _left_ me."

"You were the one who left the country and me in it!"

As I said those words I saw Sasuke's eyes go wide and he looked at Ino who guiltily lowered her gaze. I wasn't sure what was going on but the alcohol in my blood was doing perfect job at making me not care about it.

"It was nice to chat with you, _Sasuke_." I stood up and went in search of a partner for dance. I had to get away from him. I couldn't let myself breath in his scent in fear of falling apart right there at that table. Deciding I should forget about this mess I approached the bar, I knew the barista it was Gaara's sister, Temari. I managed to get a drink I wanted and chat with her for a few minutes when there was a hand cupping my ass.

Now, I didn't mind if someone accidentally rubbed on me because they had no space, but this was different, the hand glued to my butt and wouldn't leave it alone, so I turned around and glared. It was a guy, approximately my height, with black hair and I'm not sure what his eye color was because of the light. I wanted to chop his hand and head off, but I managed to look decent enough for the sake of my friend's birthday party. So when the guy asked me to dance even though I wasn't pleased with the fact to dance with another male I accepted it thinking of Sasuke.

It was the first time a guy approached me. It was nothing like Sasuke. With teme everything seemed smooth and easy and nice. Now, only emotion I had was feeling of weirdness since I didn't like dancing with this guy. And I tried to tell him that, I was even nice enough to excuse myself and tell him I'll be off to find my friends, but the idiot just had to squeeze my ass again and make me throw a punch at his face.

As if on cue another black haired idiot appeared and caught my fist mid-air before I had a chance to punch the pervert who just grabbed my butt. I glared at Sasuke, alcohol making me relax a bit under his touch.

"He groped me damn it, let me hit him!"

"No. Come with me."

"No! I'm dancing!"

"With the guy who groped you?"

"No, teme, with you."

"Hn."

If he wanted to protest I didn't give him time because I caught his hands and threw them around my waist as I hugged him around the neck. Damn his height. I wanted to talk, but I wasn't sure what to tell him, so I remained silent.

Sasuke's touch on me felt so familiar, so pleasant. So real.

 _I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile, so good to me, so right_ _  
_ _And how you held me in your arms that September night_ _  
_ _The first time you ever saw me cry_ _  
_ _Maybe this is wishful thinking_ _  
_ _Probably mindless dreaming_ _  
_ _But if we loved again I swear I'd love you right_

"Sasuke… I need to tell you something." I spoke into his ear because the music blasting through speakers started getting louder as the DJ was changing the song.

"Yeah, I guess I have something to tell you as well."

Now that caught my interest. What did he want to say?

"Do you want to go first?" I asked hoping he would but I knew Sasuke better than that.

"Hn. Talk."

I swallowed and looked at him. He was so beautiful, perfect. He was the most wonderful boyfriend anyone could wish for. And… I loved him. And because I loved him I broke his heart, because I had no balls to tell him what I really want in fear that he'll hate me for that.

I felt like an idiot. I was so stupid and disgusting to myself.

"God, Sasuke… I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry. I should've said that four months ago, I shouldn't even said those words, I…"

"You what?"

"I hated you for wanting to leave me alone, I never wanted you to go, god… That sounds so selfish but I… I needed you… and you just left."

"Why did you break up with me?"

"I…"

"Did I mean nothing to you? Weren't we friends before we became lovers? Did our friendship mean anything to you? You just ended it, like it was the easiest thing to do."

"Of course it wasn't! You were my most important person, damn it Sasuke, you still are!"

"Why did you do it?"

"Because it hurt. It hurt me to realize that you'll never love me, and never care enough to change your mind because you wanted to stay for me. I was in a relationship with you, but in that moment I've never been lonelier in my life."

"You realized _that_? Stupid."

It was the truth… I never wanted Sasuke to leave, but I never wanted to tell him to stay for me. I wanted him to stay because he needed to be with me, not because I made him do that. And the fact that he considered leaving was a very clear sign to me that he had no such feelings towards me.

"You didn't l-love me." Damn why was I acting like a chick with the stuttering shit?

"I didn't love you?" And damn him with that cold stare.

"You didn't."

"You have no fucking idea what you're talking about." Even his voice sounded cold right now, I mean I knew he was angry at me, but did he really hate me now? I didn't know what came over me, maybe it was the fact that the guy I loved left me alone for four months, maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was something else, but I tugged him towards me clutching on his shirt as if holding on for dear life.

I was angry at him for leaving, I was angry at him for ignoring me whole night, I was angry because he danced with Sakura, of all people he had to dance with that leech who wouldn't fuck off after years of rejection, but above all I was angry at myself.

"And you have no fucking idea how you made me feel at that moment, you insensitive jerk!" I knew that he could see how upset I was and yet he chose to smirk not feeling the slightest intimidated by my violent behavior.

It hurt. I thought for a second that maybe now that he was back… he would want me, again. But here I was, on the verge of falling apart and all I got from him was smirk. I couldn't stand it anymore. I released the hold I had on him and ran away. Pushing through the crowd desperately I was hoping to find the damn exit door. When I finally did I stormed outside and leaned against the cold wall of the club.

I didn't care whether someone was outside, it was dark and nobody could probably recognize me, knowing I couldn't be heard because of the loud music, I've let myself slide along the wall feeling tears starting to rush from my eyes. I was a moron, I blamed him for leaving me when I also left him and I hated myself for that and Sasuke probably hated me too. My sobs were loud, I wasn't holding back, even if I tried, I couldn't. I blamed it on the alcohol, as always.

My attention was directed to Sasuke's dark look and that smirk on his beautiful face. He didn't care anymore, if he ever did to begin with. So when a figure stepped in front of me, I didn't even realize it because I shut down all of my senses.

A gentle hand found its way to my blond locks and it was then that I noticed I wasn't by myself anymore in front of the club. I didn't raise my head because I didn't want the person to see my tear stained face, so when the baritone voice spoke it stirred my heart making my eyes clench and my hand flew to my face to cover it.

"You're stupid, you know that?"

Why? Why did he call me stupid? Not that I wasn't since I ruined the best thing that ever happened to me, but why did he have to say it like that? Like he was… mocking me? As if he knew something that I hadn't.

"Yeah, I know that…" I said choking on my sob. Literally last thing I wanted to happen tonight was this, me sitting and crying like a stray kitten while he was looming above me watching me fall apart.

"Naruto…" His voice was calm and it made me look up, he was crouching in front of me with his beautiful face mere inches apart from mine.

"I'm sorry." It was all I had strength to say, my brain shut down the moment I felt his breath hitting my lips.

"For being stupid?"

"That too. I'm sorry for everything." I looked at his eyes then, it was dark but I got accustomed to it by then and I knew Sasuke could see my tear stained face, I just didn't care at the moment, because I realized, when his hand slide from my hair to my cheek how much I actually missed him. I spent four long months regretting what I did, and I had the chance to explain myself now.

"Hn. Why are you crying?" Tsk, and he called me stupid.

"Because I never wanted it to end. I loved you Sasuke, I… I couldn't imagine a day passing by without seeing you, kissing you, being near you. I didn't want you to leave me, I wanted you here with me, it was selfish bu-"

"Why didn't you tell me that? Instead, you said I was sneaking around with Sakura and ended our relationship. Bullshit Naruto. You didn't even let me finish what I started saying back then."

Well he was right, I didn't, but I didn't want to listen to him at the time. It's not like he was about to proclaim his nonexistent love for me anyway and I didn't want to listen about his trip.

"Why would I tell you? Who was I to stop you from doing what you wanted and be happy?" I glared at him, his palm wiping tears from my cheek.

"You really are the dumbest person in the world, dobe." There it was, the word that made me want to hit him and kiss him at the same time, the word I haven't heard four months, the word he hadn't used for the whole night.

"Why do you keep calling me dumb?"

"Because, you stupid, idiotic dobe, if you had only let me finish what I wanted to say none of this would've happen."

He was confusing me. His breath lingered on my lips and his scent made me numb. I couldn't stand this anymore, I wanted to kiss him, I wanted to hold him and tell him how sorry I was… But how could I? Here he was, calling me stupid whole evening, not giving me the slightest of clue if he wanted that or not, and I wasn't going to hurt him again by throwing myself at him.

"What do you m-mean?" I froze when his lips brushed mine but it was for a second only. I clutched my eyes feeling new set of tears preparing to come down my face.

"I never left, you fucking idiot."

I swear I was acting like some whiny clingy chick and I really disliked that type of gi-

Wait.

What?

"What did you say?"

"That you are fucking idiot? Or that I never left the country? Both statements are true though."

I think my mouth went wide open at that. I was dumbstruck by what he said. Not about me being idiot of course, the other thing. He never left?

"What?"

"When I told you I got the offer you started throwing a fit. I wanted to tell you that I declined it, but you… You were so fucking stupid to mention Sakura and to say that you wanted us to be over, so I was keeping my mouth shut. You hurt me."

Was I hearing things right? Was I dreaming or was this some kind of a sick joke? Because it wasn't funny at all.

"Naruto, you are the only person I've ever been with. How could you even think that I didn't love you?" His voice sounded hurt now and I wanted to slap myself for my own stupidity. He was here, all this time, hurting… he was the one who was left alone. I didn't even want to ask why he hadn't told me that he never left. I knew the answer myself, it was written in that painful look he gave me.

"You never said that you… loved me." My words were barely audible.

"Wasn't that obvious? Did you expect me to shout it from the rooftop or something? My heart was yours ever since we met. And if you hadn't made a move that night after the party we attended you'd never found out about my feelings."

I didn't have time to think, I didn't want to think at all, or to respond. The desire to kiss him made me clutch his shirt and pull him towards me. He stumbled and I was sure he wanted to call me dobe for pulling him like that but I didn't give him a chance. I, Uzumaki Naruto was kissing Uchiha Sasuke with all strength I had in me. I wanted him to feel how sorry I was and how much I loved him in that kiss. I wanted to show him how much I missed him.

I don't know how long I kissed him. My lips went numb from the force of the kisses we shared but I couldn't stop. His hands had a strong hold on my shoulders keeping balance. Sasuke's kisses were so caring and gentle, while mine were brutal and intense, both of us refused to pause but the need for air was becoming too much.

"Aren't you going to kick my ass for calling you dobe, dobe?" He smirked gazing at me, amusement evident in his voice.

"I'll let it slide this time." I was panting trying to catch my breath.

"You know, I thought you didn't want me anymore. And judging by how surprised you looked when I told you I hadn't left in the first place I assume Ino hadn't told you I was here."

"Ino knew you were here?"

"They all knew, except for Kiba, I think, and you…"

"Why were you hiding from me?"

"I wasn't hiding, I mean they all knew I was here, but I guess Ino tried to protect you considering you thought I had no feelings. Seriously, you're too stupid.

"Stop calling me stupid already."

"How could you even think for a damn second I didn't care about you?"

"I was pissed when you talked about leaving to Japan."

"I never actually said I'm leaving, I only said I got an offer."

"Sasuke… Can you forgive me?" I had to ask, praying that I'm not dreaming and that Sasuke was really here in front of me.

"Do you think I'd talk to you right now or even kiss you if I already hadn't forgiven you? You're stupid, I'm used to it." He shrugged as if talking about the weather, his lips forming a small smile.

"Well it took you four months to come and talk to me…" I felt a bit of anger in me because Sasuke avoided me for that time.

"Naruto, you broke up with me. I moved to my brother's apartment. I was studying and didn't even bother going to college and attending the classes in order not to meet you somewhere. I honestly thought that you wanted us to be over, until I talked to Ino and she said something that made me think about us. She said that you suffered, that you thought I never loved you. You never told her that you were the one who ended our relationship?"

"No…"

"Figured that's why she kept glaring at me." He smirked at that and I felt guilt eating me. Damn it, I was such an asshole.

"So, are you going to sit there moping all night?" The question was suggestive I dare say. I saw him standing up and extend his hand to me which I took allowing him to pull me up. Alcohol made me dizzy now and I held onto him for support, he snorted lightly and put his hand around my waist.

"Are we going back in or what?" I asked trying hardest not sound as tipsy as I was, damn I haven't been drinking in a while and I knew I wasn't drunk, but it was kind of hard to stand especially after those kisses with Sasuke that swept me of my feet. Fuck, I sounded like a chick again.

Meh, it's the truth.

"With you barely standing? I don't think so." Bastard.

"I came here with Ino, by her car."

"Text her and tell her I'm driving you home, let's go."

Watching Sasuke open the door of his car made me smile, an honest smile that hasn't marred my face in a while. Maybe we won't go back to the way we were before, maybe we won't be together again, but I was glad that he was here, with me. I wasn't alone anymore.

 _I'd go back in time and change it but I can't  
So if the chain is on your door, I understand But this is me swallowing my pride  
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night  
And I go back to December_

* * *

When Sasuke's car pulled to a stop in front of my house something within me stirred. I couldn't just go out and act as if he meant nothing to me. I needed him. Permanently.

"Do you wanna come in?" The question left my lips before I had a chance to stop it. I expected him to refuse, preparing for the pain it was meant to cause to my heart, so when Sasuke opened his door and got out of the car leaving me sitting on the passenger seat I could only dumbly stare at him while his eyebrow went up in a questioning manner.

"Leave it to you to invite me to your place and then stay in my car." The smirk on his face told me he was teasing me and it caused small blush to appear on my cheekbones. I exited the car with as much dignity I could muster and reached for my pocket to take the key.

I honestly didn't know what to expect, I didn't know what was going to happen. I mean he kissed me; that was a good sign, right? But it was also me that broke up and most likely caused pain to him and insane amount of fury towards me to build up. To say I was afraid of Sasuke would be a lie; I just didn't know why was all of this happening tonight.

I found out Sasuke didn't leave the country. He had been avoiding me, successfully I might add, for the past four months. Now he was here next to me, waiting for me to unlock the door to my house looking hot as hell, and he hadn't even shown slightest bit of the rage I knew he was holding within him. And, that was what worried me.

I mean, sure, he was never too good at expressing his emotions vocally but he used to punch me all the time for something stupid I did. Also, his face was like an enigma to me. He was calm, didn't yell at me, he didn't look at me in the weird way that screamed bloody murder. He was freaking smirking all night! And on top of that he even kissed me back.

I finally managed to open the door to my house, alcohol made me miss the lock twice until I finally managed to put the key in.

Sasuke came in after me, closing the door behind him. I was waiting for him to say something, but when all that could be heard was our silent breathing and ruffling noise while we took our shoes off I turned to him, only to be shoved harshly to the closest wall.

Remember when I said he looked too calm for my liking? Well, I'd really love it if just an ounce of that calmness could enter his eyes right now since his hold on me was strong and harsh, while his eyes held unlimited amount of anger I knew he was holding within him.

"You… Do you have any fucking idea what you did to me?!"

I expected this. I assumed he was going to snap the moment we were alone. What I didn't expect was for so much hurt to lace his furious voice.

"I hurt you. I know… I'm sorry." I knew he wanted to hit me, so I braced myself for the blow to come not daring to cover my face with hands. I deserved it. And if a fist to my face was going to make him feel better, that was the least I could do for him.

"You don't know a damn thing!" He was hissing at me and all I could do was to stare back at him and listen to what he had to say. "You clearly have no clue how much I loved you. I didn't eat for days! _Days_ Naruto! I didn't sleep! I was like a freaking zombie. You fucking destroyed me. Hell, Itachi had to call an ambulance when I passed out after days of crying and refusing to do anything else. And for what? Because you thought I didn't love you enough to stay? Because you had no balls to tell me you want me to stay? You made me believe that I mean nothing to you when there is no person in this world I love as much as you."

My eyes were wide open. I think Sasuke's words sobered me up completely because the pain in my chest that was subdued by the beer I had that night had hit me full force and almost left me gasping for air. I was selfish. I was arrogant and I let my pride rule over my feelings. How could he forgive me for that when I couldn't forgive myself?

"Do you have anything that you'd like to add?" His face was now close to me, I could feel his breath ghosting my lips, his eyes were still angry, but his voice got softer. I wasn't sure what he wanted me to say. I felt like trash for hurting him the way I did. I was hurting, he was hurting, I ruined everything because I couldn't say… I couldn't tell him…

"I was afraid to lose you. You were everything to me, and hearing you speak about leaving, about leaving _me_ … It hurt. And I didn't want to hold you back. I couldn't tell you not to go, because going would make you happy. And all I wanted was for you to be happy, because I love you Sasuke."

I still looked at him, my voice barely a whisper, but I knew he heard me. I saw the way his eyes reacted and softened at my words. His hold on me wasn't so rough anymore and it made me relax a bit.

Sasuke closed the distance between us. His lips were soft and needy, so I gave him all I had to offer. My hands found their way to his hair and I mentally sighed at how soft it was. I pulled him more towards me and he grabbed my hips to stop my harsh movement.

"No." When he said that word it felt like someone had stepped on my heart and squashed it. If he didn't want this, why did he kiss me like that? But what he said next left me gasping in shock and thrill.

"Behave. Let me show you how much I've missed you, I promise you'll enjoy it."

I closed my eyes at the rough pull on my hips and the sensation that overcame me when I felt his arousal. He bit harshly on my neck, the pain mixing with pleasure when he started licking the bite mark he intended to leave. I hissed when he pushed me harder against the wall to kiss me. The kiss was desperate, his tongue was in my mouth before I had any chance to protest, not that I wanted to. He was teasing my tongue with gentle strokes while his hands on my hips kept me steady in place.

I grabbed his shoulders to keep my balance because the sensation was making me dizzy and I could barely stand. He was turning me on rapidly and considering I had no sex in a while I was losing it pretty fast. Not to mention the fact that it was the hottest guy in the world groping me.

He slammed our erections together and I was embarrassed by the needy moan that left my throat. Apparently he was more than satisfied since he lifted me up and carried me to my living room. I wanted to protest. Really, I did. But I couldn't, since he was keeping my mouth occupied with his tongue in it. When he finally let me catch my breath and let go of me I found myself on the floor.

Thank you very much dear legs for humiliating me. I couldn't stand, didn't know if I should blame it on the alcohol, overwhelming sensation, feelings that were making my body shake or simply blame it on Sasuke. I figured the last one was the most appealing since he was at fault for everything so I glared at his smirk coming my way.

"I'm not done with you." His words dripped with arousal.

My cock pulsated at what he said and that sexy voice. He knelt beside me cupping my lips again in a gentler kiss than before. I noticed he was unbuttoning my shirt so I occupied my hands in his. Hey I had no plans to be the only one getting naked no matter what.

He was faster though. His gentle fingers removed the cloth off of me and I shivered at his touch down my chest. He stopped kissing me in order to look at me and I used that chance to finally unclasp the damn shirt he was wearing. Can you really blame me for being so clumsy after so much beer and sexy guy in front of me? Didn't think so.

I removed the shirt and touched Sasuke's exposed chest. His skin was cold as always. I glanced at his form and visibly cringed. He was so thin. When he wore the shirt it wasn't noticeable, but now having him half naked, I could see how much truth was behind the story he told me. I looked at him apologetically and muttered that I'm sorry. The pain from before returned, but clearly Sasuke didn't want me to explain how bad I felt. He simply rolled his eyes and gently laid me on the floor. My carpet was soft, but I would've preferred bed since floor was too rough.

Apparently Sasuke wasn't bothered by that fact since he claimed my lips god knows what time that evening and found his way between my thighs. My hands were around his neck now and I was enjoying the sensation of our dry humping. It ought to stop soon though or I was going to make a mess in my pants.

"Sasuke… wait damn it." If my voice wasn't as traitorous as it was I might have hoped he would stop, but the lust was seeping through it so he ignored my protest. That teme! "I'm c-close..ah!" Again he decided to ignore my protest and attached his lips to my pulse. I released the hold I had on him to unclasp the zipper on my pants. He shoved my hands away and held them above my head still nipping on my pulsing point.

I released a long moan when my orgasm hit me. He kept grinding into me, teasing my cock with his erection. He didn't even touch me there so I was beyond embarrassed that I came so fast and in this way.

Clearly he didn't mind it at all. Finally deciding that I didn't need pants or underwear for that matter, he removed my cloths before he stood up to remove his and went to the bathroom, before quietly returning to the spot between my thighs. Now, the funny thing was that I never bottomed and by the look of it there's a first time for everything since this young man had no intention to hand me his ass tonight. It was painfully obvious that he wanted to own mine.

"Not happening, Uchiha!" I tried to protest and sit up to glare at him which got me a very smug look from him.

"Either you obey or I'll tie you and make you obey. I don't mind it but I kind of enjoy your touches and that's the only reason I still haven't done that."

I glared hard at him, but the glare turned to the lustful look when his hands clasped around my member gently. Sasuke's touch was making my dick erect again and I swear he was the only one in the world who could do that after I came not few minutes ago.

He was teasing me with his light touches while he explored my body with his tongue. I could only moan and clasp on his shoulders because the pleasure was too much for me to handle. His tongue caught my nipple and he bit on it gently which made me hiss, then he continued trailing his seductive tongue down my body until he clearly found what he was looking for since there was no teasing in Sasuke's actions.

He licked my tip then took my fully erect dick again in his mouth. My god, can you die of pleasure? He was swallowing the pre cum around it that leaked while he teased my balls gently with one hand, then he deep throated me and I saw stars.

I was too focused on the pleasure that I completely forgot about what his other hand was doing which became clear when I felt a finger poking at the entrance of my ass. I swallowed and looked at Sasuke pushing his shoulders a bit so he could see my face.

"Relax dobe. I won't hurt you." He didn't smirk like he usually would when he was teasing me, he looked at me reassuringly, and I knew in that moment that I'll love him forever. No matter how much time we spent apart, no matter how much time we hadn't heard from each other, he was my _everything_. That's why I gave him a nod, closing my eyes at the pain I felt from being penetrated.

I saw his eyebrows furrow for a moment and then he added second finger scissoring me, I knew he was looking for the spot while stretching me. All of my hesitance flown out of window when he hit my prostate adding the third finger. I started moving a bit so he could hit that spot again, so when he took his fingers out I was a bit disappointed. Just for a moment.

Fingers got replaced by something much stiffer and bigger, and I knew my eyes went wide when he pushed his erection into me. He was waiting patiently. He knew I would be in pain and he was giving me time to adjust to the new sensation and to him inside of me. I reached out to him to put my hands around his shoulders and pull him closer to me for a kiss. Sasuke kissed my forehead then he teased my bottom lip before giving me the kiss I was desperate for.

"I missed you so much." I whispered into our kiss and Sasuke finally moved inside of me. It hurt. He was huge and my ass was virgin. I tried not to show in how much pain I really was, focusing on kissing Sasuke, when I felt his tip brushing my prostate which made my groans of pain into moans of pleasure. That's when Sasuke unleashed the pent up frustration and anger I knew he was hiding.

He was slamming into me brutally, constantly hitting my prostate and causing me to scream in pleasure and shock. His thrusts were sharp and fast and he was watching me with the most erotic look I've ever seen on him. I knew he was close by the way he was straining his lips.

"Tell me."

"Huh?"

His thrusts became slower until I felt him completely still inside of me.

"I want to know that I mean something to you. So tell me." I looked at him widening my eyes, he was never the one who'd talk about emotions, and yet here he was, deep in my ass for the first time, wanting to talk about that? Well, I guess I owe him for being a jerk.

"I love you teme." I smiled moving up to give him a peck on the lips. He nodded and slammed hard into me, making me scream yet again. He continued his rapid pace until I felt his orgasm hitting him. He took my dick pumping it with his thrusts and I saw white cumming two times in a row.

I recognized my name on Sasuke's lips being whispered when he was at his peak. He pulled out of me and let himself fall on top of me clearly exhausted. I could understand how he felt since I was the same.

It crossed my mind for a moment that my carpet is probably stained and I wanted to yell at Sasuke. I moved my head from the floor to scold him but I found out he was already looking at me. His eyes were shining, was it from the pleasure of his orgasm or happiness I didn't want to ask, but I knew he was content.

"I love you, idiot." He looked at me almost shyly and when he said those words he pecked me on the cheek after which he returned to his position laying on top of me with his head on my chest.

I didn't mind. Fuck the carpet, I'll take it to cleaning. What mattered was that Sasuke and I were together again.

"I'm never leaving you again." I said embracing him with more strength than necessary. I think he understood the point of my hug since he didn't protest, I felt him snort lightly against my chest before he spoke.

"I'm never letting you leave me again, dobe."

* * *

The phone rang stirring me slightly from the sleep I was falling into. I should've tanked the person who called me for two reasons, first being sleeping on the floor would be extremely uncomfortable and second, both Sasuke and I needed a shower. I pulled the noisy thing out of the pocket of the pants stirring Sasuke a bit since I had to move to get to the pile of clothes that was next to us, only to realize it wasn't my phone that rang.

I rummaged through Sasuke's pockets to find his phone when a name of the one person I could barely stand popped up on the screen of the damn thing. I picked up the call not wanting to be rude, besides maybe she needed something.

"Yes?"

"Sasuke! Where are you? I'm looking for you everywhere at the party! I want to dance with you again, you better not-"

"Sasuke's sleeping." Was my reply to the annoying voice that said even more annoying thing over the phone.

"Whaaat? Who is that?"

"Smoking hot blond that happens to be Sasuke's boyfriend." I hit the red button and looked over the now awake midnight eyes that lingered on me.

"Was that my phone?"

"Sakura called, asking you to go dance with her again."

"And you got all jealous of her. Stupid."

"I'm not jealous! I just don't like her!"

"Jealous."

"No, damn it!"

"Come on, let's go take a shower."

I sighed relaxing a bit at the thought Sasuke would finally drop the damn subject only to have him pull me close in a very romantic manner, one hand was around my waist and the other one lifting my chin with his index finger.

"Sakura is just a friend, she was never more than that. My heart is yours, dobe." Relaxing under his touch I allowed him to kiss me deeply.I gave him a nod and a small smile that was meant to say I trusted him. No matter what happens we'll stay together.

"I love you."

"I love you too, dobe."

 _I'd go back to December turn around and change my own mind_  
 _I go back to December all the time all the time_

* * *

A/N let me know if you liked it ^^


End file.
